Changing Suits
by limpet666
Summary: All things come to an end, but when it's sooner than expected, letting go can be a hard thing to do. F/M Slash
1. Heart

Story: Changing Suits

Chapter: 01. Heart

Author: G. Richmond

Warnings: Mild slash, angst

Author's notes: I didn't mean to write more angst, lol. Been listening to the song 'You Don't Love Me Any More' by Tim McGraw, and that inspired a picture that inspired this story.

* * *

It was a warm afternoon, he could remember that much; the sun shining comfortably out from behind wisps of white cloud and the soft breeze keeping the temperature from getting too hot. It was the kind of afternoon for picnics with the kids and nice walks in the woods, or a lazy afternoon on the front porch watching the world go by.

"I cant do this anymore." His voice cut through the pleasant silence like a blunt knife. It wasn't like it came unexpected; things hadn't been going well for months now, and they both knew it. They had stopped spending so much time together, stopped talking for hours about nothing, until even things that had seemed so natural before, like a goodnight kiss, became forced and awkward.

But when the time finally came, it felt like someone had punched him in the chest.

"Temp'?" His voice had a waver to it as he turned his head to look at the blond. Murdock had been in the lounge, contently reading through a dog-eared magazine on aeroplanes when Face had walked in. The windows were open and the scent of wild flowers wafted in from the front garden, colouring the scene in hues that should have pre-empted something pleasant. Neither of them were much for gardening, save to go out and take their frustration out on unsuspecting weeds after they had had an argument, but dandelions and nettles weren't going to help this time.

"I'm sorry. I…I just cant." Blue eyes looked so calmly at the pilot, but his mouth tightened and his brows flickered with the emotions he was trying to hide, "You know it isn't working." He added, an edge of imploring in his voice, begging Murdock not to make this any more difficult than it was already going to be. He stayed in the doorway, watching the pilot.

There was silence, such a god-awful painful silence before Murdock finally reacted, standing up from the couch, his magazine falling forgotten on the floor. As he stood, Face took a step back, as though the keep the distance between them,

"Wh…" Murdock made a false start, struggling for words, and shook his head a bit before starting again, "What do you mean?"

Face looked down to the side with a pained expression, "You know what I mean. Please, don't make this hard."

"Don't make this-?" Murdock took a step forward, and Face took one back, "Temp'…"

Face could barely stand it. He knew it was going to be hard, but he also knew that Murdock never would have ended it, he would have had them stay together forever in the hopes that things could go back to the way they were. The way they were 6 years ago when they had still been 'Soldiers of Fortune', when they were running on excitement and adrenaline. Where breaking Murdock out of the VA made Face's day. When keeping their relationship secret was exhilarating and fun. When stolen kisses were the best part of a mission, and forgetting to lock the bedroom door was still risky business.

Before people began to forget about the A-team. Before BA and Frankie dropped out to pursue more honest living. Before Hannibal called it quits. Before they had settled down. Before they drifted apart.

Murdock still wanted to believe they were the same people, that they were meant for each other. He couldn't imagine his life without Face, couldn't conceive of being with anyone else, and wouldn't admit defeat. He still loved him.

"It's over, Murdock." Face at least did him the courtesy of looking him dead in the eye, paying witness to the pain he was causing in those deep brown eyes, "There's no point drawing it out any more." He said quieter.

"Face…Temp'…please." Murdock stepped forward again, and this time Face stayed it his ground, but drew his gaze away, looking down at the ground, "Cant we talk about this?" The pilot's voice was imploring, "We…we can fix-"

"No Murdock, we cant." Face shook his head, "It's over. It's been over for months." He looked up at the pilot, fighting to stay in check, "I've already moved out most of my stuff." He could see the shock in the pilot's eyes; he hadn't even noticed. They had been so distant he hadn't noticed Face slowly moving out. "It's easier this way." Face added quietly. He shifted as though to go toward Murdock, before changing his mind and turning to the front door.

The hands that grabbed the back of his shirt were desperate, long fingers curling in the thin fabric and holding him still, but didn't quite have the strength to pull him back,

"Mur-"

"Please!" The word came out choked, and Face felt the pressure as Murdock put his head down between his hands against the blond's back, "Please…y-you cant."

"Murdock, I have to." Face took a deep breath, but it was shaky, and his eyes burned.

"No, you don't… we can fix this…" The pilot's voice got quieter and more pleading.

"It's not broken, Murdock." The conman lifted a hand to his face, warding off the tears that were already soaking into the carpet behind him, "It's just not the same, anymore."

"W-we can make it the same. Make it how it used to be. Please Temp', we gotta try." His words were shaky, and his grip tightened on Face's shirt like it was the only thing keeping him on his feet.

"No Murdock."

"Why not?" Murdock's voice rose as he jerked Face's shirt, shaking him a little, confused, angry and distraught.

"Because…" Face shook his head and lost the battle with his tears, hastily wiping away the ones that rolled down over his cheeks, "Because I don't love you anymore."

Murdock's reaction was delayed, but when the words finally sunk in his fingers loosened from Face's shirt. The conman stepped away hurriedly, and the pilot sank to the ground, falling on his knees and staring down at the carpet.

"Murdock…" Face was already at the door, arms pulled tight around himself, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve.

"Just go…" Murdock told him in a whisper, and Face knew then it was over. There was no going back now. All their problems, their fights, their petty arguments over silly things. All their bad times, and the times they couldn't stand to look at each other…

And the good times, and the better times. Their making up. The smiles. The laughter.

It was all over.

Because he didn't love him anymore.


	2. Club

Story: Changing Suits

Chapter: 02. Club

Author: G. Richmond

Warnings: Mild slash, angst

* * *

Three weeks.

That was all it took for Face to move on.

Murdock would have punched him, and hard, if he had had the presence of mind. But the shock was so great it froze him in his steps.

Face didn't even see him. He was across the street from the pilot, walking arm-in-arm with some pretty brunette and laughing. Laughing so naturally, like the past 6 years had never happened. Like they had never been together Like the pilot had never made an impact on his life. Like Murdock had never even existed.

And he looked so impeccable as always; nice suit, meticulously combed hair, clean shaven. Perfectly matching the vacuous model on his arm in her small black dress and too-high heels, and perfect makeup that made it look like she had just crawled off the cover of a fashion magazine. It probably wasn't too far from the truth either. Templeton Peck was back on form.

Murdock hadn't been able to move on quite as quickly. In fact, even if Face had chosen to look across the street and caught his eye, he probably would have had to do a double-take. The pilot's usual confident stride was hunched and purposeless, his clothes were wrinkled and hung lifelessly like he had slept in them more than once, and he hadn't seen the better side of a brush or a razor in weeks.

Face was out of sight before Murdock recovered, and he was beginning to draw stares before he finally came round and did an about-face, pacing back the way he had come. He was supposed to be buying groceries, the food back home had long gone off, but he couldn't even think of that now. His mind was in turmoil, and he just wanted to be back behind closed doors. He was already so close to crying he barely got the door open before breaking down, just getting it closed before curling up with his forehead on his knees.

This was all Face's fault. They could have made it work, Murdock was sure of it. If Face had only given him some warning he would have made more of an effort, would have fixed everything that was wrong. They could have gone out for meals, bought stupid presents, done all the things they used to do when they had first started dating. When they still had to climb out the hotel windows and down the fire escapes to get some time alone so BA and Hannibal wouldn't catch on.

And BA, Hannibal and Frankie weren't without blame in Murdock's mind. The pilot had spent enough time in psychiatric wards to know he was rapidly falling into a downward spiral, but he was too depressed to even care. They had all lost contact so long ago, there was no way the others could know he was in distress, but still, he couldn't help thinking that if they had made more of an effort then he wouldn't have to suffer this alone. Even BA would be a comfort now, in his awkward kind of way.

BA wasn't homophobic, at least not intentionally. It was more of an awkward conversation stopper, so much so that whenever they had had the guys over for meals back in the early days, Face and Murdock was always careful not to sit next to each other. They had once, and BA had spent the whole meal speaking gruffly into his food and not looking at them. They didn't know exactly what he thought they were going to do sat at a table of their friends, but they tried to see the amusing side to it. So it was with a fond exasperation that they avoided the subject of their relationship in front of him.

Hannibal had been the disinterested father that wasn't really bothered who they were dating full-stop. As long as they didn't bother him with the intimate details, he was happy to let them get on with it. Although they both suspected that secretly he was pleased that they had found happiness, but uncomfortable with the subject.

And Frankie was as enthusiastic as ever and had greeted the news that they were dating (and had been dating right under everyone's noses) with exuberance and a little too much encouragement. He had tried to insist on throwing a party, horribly titled a 'Coming Out' party, like the two of them had been clinging to the frame of their metaphorical closets. They had politely declined, and BA had threatened him with grievous bodily harm, so fortunately the plans didn't go ahead.

But where were they now? Where were they when Murdock needed them most?

Nobody really knew where Hannibal was from month to month. They had received the occasional letter from him, but they usually divulged little information as to his whereabouts. But he always seemed to be doing well. He acting career was back on track, and he loved to brag about the newest movie he was 'starring' in. The Aquamaniac had even had a sequel that he had been especially proud of.

BA was back in Chicago running a youth centre. He had moved into the same apartment building as his mother and kept the peace in his area. He occasionally wrote or rang, but never had much to share and Murdock ended up doing most of the talking, since whenever Face took the call the conversation lasted less that 3 minutes, which neither Face nor BA could see the problem with.

Frankie had got himself a girl and settled down in LA. He was still working as a special-effects guy, and was always positive and cheerful when they spoke. He called every few months to see how things were going, but the calls had started to come less and less recently, what with a baby on the way and marriage on the horizon. Murdock had been very excited about this news; he was looking forward to everyone getting together again.

But now he couldn't even think of it. All he knew was that he wanted someone there to help him up, to tell him that it was all just a bad dream. But there was no one. He was alone.


	3. Diamond

Story: Changing Suits

Chapter: 03. Diamond

Author: G. Richmond

Warnings: Mild slash, angst

Author's notes: Have I had Frankie in a story before? I don't remember, I don't think so. At least, not with such a big part. He's easy and fun to write.

* * *

"So how you been, buddy? Keeping your chin up I hope?" Frankie's voice was positive and bubbly as always, but tamed now from responsibility.

"Of course, you know me." Murdock easily deflected his worry, keeping his eye on the soup that was simmering pleasantly in the pan on the hob. He had the phone against his ear with his shoulder, stirring the soup with one hand whilst he got out the silverware.

"I know, I know." He could hear Frankie's grin down the line, but his tone was still tinged with caution, "But you know, if you ever need the company, door's always open down here." Murdock smiled to himself at the offer, turning off the hob so he could pay more attention to the call.

"Thanks, Frankie, I'll keep that in mind."

It had been 3 months since that disastrous day when Murdock had crawled in his front door after seeing Face with his new girl. Frankie and BA had found him on the couch three days later, although Murdock couldn't tell them when he had crawled there. All they knew was that he had drunk all the liquor in the house (fortunately they had never kept much, only a few very expensive bourbons for special occasions, which at least hadn't been enough to poison him), thrown up in some inventive places, and then passed out face-down and remained there until they found him.

Fortunately Frankie was a worrier, so after not being able to get hold of anyone for 2 days, he had called BA and suitably panicked him until they agreed to go see what was wrong. They had got no answer at the door, despite ringing the bell and knocking loudly, and Frankie had unhappily suggested they come back later. But BA was having none of that, and before Frankie could finish his suggestion he had already kicked down the door. He had said later when Murdock asked what he would have done if they had just been out that he would have fixed the door before anyone got home.

After Murdock had been discharged from the hospital a couple days later, Frankie had insisted he come stay with him and his girl until he was better, and the pilot had no energy to argue. Over the month he was with them, Frankie slowly got the story of what had happened out of him, and helped Murdock sort his head out. Murdock knew that Frankie had gotten hold of Face once on the phone, but hadn't been very tactful in his anger, and Face screened his calls after that.

Murdock wasn't back to his usual self when he finally left them, but he was much better, and had endeavoured to try and move on. And in the two months that followed he almost managed to forget that there was a gaping hole in his chest that ached fiercely whenever he allowed his mind to wander too far, or whenever he caught a glimpse of an edge of a photo album.

He was still living in the same suburban house they had bought together (and that Face had scammed such a reduction on it would have been foolish not to buy), because, whilst now the subject of Templeton Peck only bought him pain, Murdock couldn't bare to leave the good memories that house had seen. At first it hadn't been easy to live there, but he couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

"So, have you heard?" Murdock didn't like apprehension in Frankie's voice, and his appetite immediately left him as his stomach wrapped itself in knots.

"Heard what?" Murdock tried to sound nonchalant, but it came out flat.

"…Face is getting married." The worry was there in Frankie's voice, concerned about how that was going to effect the pilot.

For a long time there was silence on Murdock's end as he stared down at the ground, trying to digest that information. In the end all he could say, in a detached voice, was, "That was quick."

"Are you okay?" Frankie asked urgently, "I thought you should know, just in case, y'know." He added anxiously.

"I…yeah, I'm okay, Frankie. Don't worry." He sounded distracted, but was trying not to worry Frankie.

"I meant it Murdock, if you wanna come stay with us for a few days, that's totally okay."

"It's fine, thanks. Look, my food's getting cold, I gotta go." Murdock couldn't continue the call, he needed some time to think.

"Murdock-?"

"I'll call you tomorrow, alright?" Murdock knew Frankie would worry incessantly if he didn't offer to keep in contact, "Bye Frankie. Thanks for the call." He ended the call before Frankie could even say bye.

The hot soup went right down the sink, and the bowl and spoon went back into their places unused. He didn't know where his head was at, but he knew he didn't feel right.

Face was getting married? Face had proposed? Was that all it took? Just 4 months and suddenly he was the marrying type. How could that be?

Maybe he had gone and got the girl pregnant. That made the most sense, but that didn't make Murdock feel any better. The idea that Face would be having a family with someone else…it made that hole in his chest feel as fresh as day Face had walked out.

They had never talked about settling down like that. It never occurred to either of them that kids would ever be an option, but now that Face could potentially be having them with someone else, a woman, it brought all of Murdock's insecurities back out. All the things that had driven him to drown them out with alcohol 3 months before. He had never worried about anything when they had been dating. Never thought that there was anything wrong with their relationship, even if others disagreed. But when Face had left, when Murdock had seen him with that new woman it became apparent what was wrong, to Murdock at least.

He wasn't a woman. He couldn't do for Face all the things a woman could do, and all the things any self-respecting man was supposed to want. He couldn't marry him, and he couldn't give him children. And the very idea that their relationship was doomed from the start because of this had only quickened Murdock's descent into depression.

He found his way into the lounge and onto the couch, and curled up around the cushion he liked to pretend still smelled like Face, burying his face in the patterned fabric and hiding the tears that leaked out.

He felt so helpless now, but he knew it would pass, and by the time he had to call Frankie tomorrow he would feel better. Perhaps not a lot, but he would move on. It was two steps forward and one step back most of the time, but he was getting there. Ever so slowly he was getting over Templeton Peck, and life didn't look so bleak any more.


	4. Spade

Story: Changing Suits

Chapter: 04. Spade

Author: G. Richmond

Warnings: Mild slash, angst, character death

* * *

Murdock didn't recognise the female voice on the other end of the line. If he had had to guess he would have said she sounded around 40, confident and intelligent, and very upset.

"Is this Captain Murdock I'm speaking to?" She got the question out firmly without faltering, but her voice was watery and wavered as though it might break a couple times.

"Yes, Ma'am, it is." He had only just opened the door when he heard the phone going, and rushed through to answer it, shedding outdoor clothes as he went. He pulled off the warm wool hat he had been wearing, smiling at it fondly. It had been a surprise gift from the girl he was seeing; she had knitted it herself in the most atrocious assortment of colours, but he had appreciated it nonetheless and worn it with pride at the funfair they had gone to that evening.

"M-my name's Anna, Mrs. Anna Smith." She introduced herself, voice wavering even more, so much that Murdock set the hat down and stopped smiling, "I was Hannibal's wife."

Murdock leaned against the back of the couch with a small frown, "Was?" He asked. He didn't even know Hannibal had gotten married, now he was divorced?

"H-Hannibal…Hannibal died two days ago."

The woman's sob at the end of the line was drowned out by white noise in the pilot's ears. That couldn't be true. He had received a letter from the Colonel just a week ago, mostly just congratulations that Murdock had found a girl to date after 7 months. How could he be dead? That didn't make any sense, he surely would have told one of them if something was wrong.

The woman had got her voice back under control and was talking again, "It was a hit and run. He saved a little girl." She said more, but Murdock was finding it hard to concentrate. The information wasn't much comfort then, but Murdock knew it would be later on when the shock had faded. So Hannibal died a hero. He would have loved that.

"The funeral's in three days."

"I'll be there." The words were said on autopilot, because there was no other answer. She gave him an address, and Murdock frowned when he saw it was less than two hours drive away. Hannibal had been so close all this time, yet obviously so far away.

Murdock took a train, since he didn't trust himself to drive. He was still in some shock, and at times it was like he couldn't feel a thing, whilst others it was all he could do to stop from breaking down.

They met outside the church.

As Murdock climbed out of the cab and mindlessly paid, he could see that there was already a small gathering outside the open doors of the church. Frankie was already there with his fiancée and young baby (they had put off the marriage since funds were difficult enough already), talking quietly to an attractive woman who looked to be in her mid-forties. Somehow, Murdock knew that was Hannibal's wife.

He approached them silently, but Frankie spotted him a short way away and excused himself. They didn't have to say a word, the anguish was written clearly on both their faces, and they embraced tightly.

"How you holding up?" Frankie asked hoarsely. He had been crying.

"Been better, you?" Murdock asked as they drew apart. His voice was low and wavered. Being there made everything so real, and he dreaded going into the church.

"Same." Frankie agreed soberly, then his attention was drawn over Murdock's shoulder, "BA's here."

BA climbed out of a cab with his mother, Mrs Baracus dabbing at her cheeks with a handkerchief. Murdock wasn't surprised to see so many people, but it was easy to forget that there was a world outside their little A-Team, and that they had touched so many lives.

BA said very little as they all embraced, giving Murdock's arm an extra squeeze that, whilst it unintentionally hurt, the pilot appreciated. It was taking all he had now to stay in check, and Frankie was having the same difficulty. They all went back over the Frankie's family, and to meet Hannibal's wife.

"You must be Murdock." She greeted him with a weak watery smile, clasping his hand in both of her's, "John spoke so fondly of you, and you, BA." She said, turning to BA and looking surprised at the big hug she was bundled into. She was a petit woman, but pretty, and full of vibrancy and confidence that was dampened in her grief. Just the kind of woman Murdock could see Hannibal finally settling down with.

"He would talk for hours about his A-Team, he loved all of you more than he'd ever tell you." She laughed softly, but the smile quickly faded, "But, you're not all here yet. Where's Face?"

The tension rose immediately, despite their best efforts. Murdock would have been lying if he said he hadn't been worried about seeing Face.

"He's just arrived." It was Mrs. Baracus who broke the news, oblivious to the tension as she continued to wipe at her cheeks.

Murdock was the last to look over, dreading what he would see. But when he finally did, it wasn't what he was expecting.

It was Face. Just plain old Templeton Peck in a smart suit and slightly-less than impeccable hair. It wasn't the monster Murdock had invented in his mind, not the big looming shadow with a pretty wife on one arm, and a child in the other. Just their Faceman, with tense shoulders and clenched fists, stopping just shy of them, but close enough so they could see the redness to his eyes.

Murdock was the first to go forward, and their eyes met as he got within arms distance. It was a silent conversation. Nothing needed to be said. Everything that had happened; the pain, the bad decisions, how did that matter any more? Hannibal was so much more important, and now he was gone. They all needed each other now more than ever before.

They fell into each other's arms and held tight, fingers fisting tight in the fabric at their backs, because the weight of loosing Hannibal was too much to bear alone.


	5. Joker

Story: Changing Suits

Chapter: 05. Joker

Author: G. Richmond

Warnings: Mild slash, angst, character death

Author's notes: In this chapter I kept thinking 'I'm missing someone. I'm forgetting to write someone's part.' I then I realise I killed Hannibal and I want to cry D:

Also, in this chapter there's the line from the song that inspired this whole series.

* * *

The funeral was a sombre affair, and they each got up to say a little something. Face talked of memorable missions, and of Vietnam, whilst BA just glared out from over the podium and growled loudly 'To Hannibal!'. Frankie got up, but could barely get out his words, and the sobs in the church became audible as he valiantly tried to continue, but eventually he had to excuse himself, burying his face in his hands as he sat down. Murdock got up last spoke of how Hannibal had been like a father to all of them, there to chastise them when they did wrong, congratulate them when they did well and pick them up when they fell. He gave hope when all hope was lost, and never gave up.

"He was a hero to the very end." Murdock ground out, fighting tears, "I think he'd be honoured to see you all here today." He stepped down then, took his place next to Face in the pews. Somewhere during the funeral their hands hand found each other, and they held tightly. Murdock looked away as he fought tears, loosing more often than not, but Face never looked down, looking forward the whole time even as tears slid down over his cheeks.

Their hands remained joined even as the funeral ended and they all stood to attend the burial. They got looks, they got stares, they even got disapproving frowns and tuts, but neither of them cared. They needed the comfort, someone to lean on. They needed those years of memories, those good memories to get them through this. They needed each other.

Murdock spent the burial with his eyes hidden behind his hand, unable to watch as they lowered the coffin into the ground. Frankie was already crying, but BA had wrapped an arm around his shoulder in a brotherly fashion, and he seemed to take some comfort from it.

At the end, one of Anna's relatives came to invite them to the wake. Anna was too stricken to ask herself, and was sobbing into a handkerchief beside the grave. Frankie shook his head that he couldn't, his fiancée and baby had already gone back to the hotel, and he couldn't stay, and BA had to stay with his mother, so he couldn't either. But both Face and Murdock nodded that they would come. They weren't ready to say goodbye to Hannibal quite yet.

Their goodbyes to BA and Frankie were drawn out, especially for Frankie, who bravely fought his tears until he was in the cab. BA gave them both manly hugs, and Mrs Baracus embraced them and kissed their cheeks, telling them in a watery voice that they needed to come visit.

They both lied that they would.

Then they were alone. They had yet to say a single word to each other, and both seemed reluctant to break the silence. Their hands had left each other just after the burial and not rejoined.

"I missed you." Face finally broke the silence. His voice was hoarse and he didn't look at Murdock when he said it.

Murdock looked at him with tired eyes and a hardening expression. He didn't answer for a long moment, but when he did it was accompanied with a turn to walk away, "You could have fooled me."

The wake was at a gentlemen's club that Anna told them all that Hannibal loved to come to. There were more people there that had been unable to attend the funeral, and a buffet set out that only got picked at during the night. No one was really hungry. But there was a free bar also, and that got thoroughly taken advantage of by everyone.

Murdock made no effort to go back to Face after they had arrived, and struggled to put his mental barriers back up. He was mourning for Hannibal, he didn't have the capacity to deal with Face as well.

He talked with Anna during the night, and found out that she and Hannibal had been married just over 6 month, and that he had been meaning to tell them next time the 5 of them met up.

"He couldn't find the words in a letter, and you know how he hated talking on the phone." She explained with a weak smile, and Murdock nodded, barely able to force his own.

He talk to some of the other people he recognized, caught up on how they were doing and fending off questions about his own wellbeing, before eventually excusing himself into a side room. He needed time to think. There were a lot of little drawing rooms in the building, each with an open fire that lit the room with a comfortable flickering light, and a number of people were taking advantage of them. Murdock let himself into one of them and settled himself onto the floor in front of the fire, sipping his drink, a scotch on the rocks, and staring into the flames.

He didn't hear the door open behind him and shut quietly, so he jumped when something clinked next to his ear, recoiling away and looking up.

"I thought you might want another." Face offered quietly, holding out the glass to Murdock. Another scotch on the rocks. Murdock had long ago finished his and the remaining ice had turned to warm water.

Murdock looked between the glass and Face, before finally taking the glass with an expression that said he still didn't want Face there. But the blond didn't pay attention and instead sat down next to him, knees drawing up to his chest.

"I'm not doing this now, Face." Murdock told him, biting out his words. They hadn't talked since the night Face had left him, he wasn't prepared to do it now. It was a horrible time to even suggest it.

"I miss him, Murdock…" Face rasped out, his hand tightening around his glass as he stared into the fire, and all the anger drained out of the pilot, "I hadn't spoken to him in nearly a year…that…that last call we got, remember?" Murdock didn't. Murdock had spoken to Hannibal a few times after he and Face had broken up. "Kept putting it off…it all seems so stupid now." He tried to take a sip from his glass, but nearly choked on a sob before putting his head down against his knees.

They talked for hours after that, about Hannibal, only stopping to fetch a bottle of bourbon so they could refresh their drinks.. They laughed and cried about all the good times, and the bad times, the best missions, and the times they had nearly died. But said nothing of their relationship, avoiding the topic completely.

"I thought you were going to die Face. Scariest damn moment of my whole life." Murdock murmured, remember back to the time Face had been shot, "You were just lying there, pale as a ghost and shivering and they…they wouldn't let us get you help." He shook his head and finished his drink, moving to pour another one.

"I remember that. I remember thinking that if I was going to die, least it wouldn't be alone." Face said quietly. Over the hours they had gravitated towards each other, and now were leaning against each other since they had drunk enough alcohol to be less than sure in their balance.

"I dunno what I'd done if you'd died." Murdock settle the bottle back down and picked up his drink, staring into its amber depths.

"You'd have been alright." Face said surely, without even thinking.

"No I wouldn't." Murdock turned his head to give Face a look, but he faltered when he realised how close they were, and so did Face. In that instant it felt so natural; sitting by the fire shoulder to shoulder, drinking good drink and reminiscing. They had done it countless times at home, and for a moment it felt like they were back there. Back there in the house they shared, the house they lived in together, the life they lived together.

They leaned in, then Murdock stopped, expression suddenly sobering. Hurt flashed across his eyes before he pulled back, then moved away, putting at least two feet between them, leaving Face with a confused expression.

"Mur-"

"Sorry." Murdock cut in, voice hard to hide his pain, and he gave Face a small smile that was more bitter than genuine, "For a minute there…I forgot that you don't love me anymore."

Then he got up to leave. Something had happened, and it was like Face was leaving him all over again. And it hurt. It hurt so damn much.

A strong hand caught him by the wrist and stopped him in his tracks. Murdock looked down into blue eyes and fought tears as he waited for Face to say something. Then he did.

"What if I was wrong?"


	6. Wildcard

Story: Changing Suits

Chapter: Wildcard

Author: G. Richmond

Warnings: Mild slash, angst

Author's notes: Long final chapter :)

* * *

He was excited. Excited in that thrilling kind of way that was also tinged with guilt because he knew what they were doing was wrong. People could get hurt this time, but they had to know. And it had to be like this.

It had taken Face hours to convince Murdock not to walk out or hit him.

"Y-you cant do this! You cant just play with people like this." Murdock couldn't believe that this was happening. Just when he thought he was finally over him, that he had a chance at a normal life, Face changed his mind. He wanted to try again, and damnit, Murdock wanted to let him. Because he still loved him. Probably always would. And that hurt more than anything, because even if they never got back together, he realised now that he would never be over him.

"I'm not playing. Things aren't the same…everything feels wrong, Please…just give me one chance." Face implored.

"How can you say that? You're engaged!" Murdock threw out his hand as he paced.

"I panicked, Murdock, I never meant to-" He shook his head with a guilty expression, "She…she was going to leave me, she said I wasn't committed, so I panicked." I looked imploringly up at Murdock, who had finally stopped pacing and was looking down at the blond with an uncertain frown, "I…" It was obvious what he wanted to say, but he was obviously torn about admitting it to Murdock. Not after everything the pilot had been through.

"You didn't want to be alone." Murdock finished for him in a quiet voice, and Face nodded, finally looking down.

Murdock supposed if he thought about it, Face's actions made sense, although of course it didn't make him feel any better. And understanding why Face had apparently been able to move on so quick wouldn't have eased his suffering at the time.

Face couldn't be alone. If the past had taught him anything it should have been that Templeton Peck was completely incapable of being without companionship. Before, and even during, their relationship, Face had been surrounded by women (Murdock had agreed to this since it would have been suspicious if Face had suddenly stopped womanising. And Murdock had joked that it was Face's only real talent after all.) It did make sense that in a time of vulnerability he would seek out company. And that he wouldn't be able to accept rejection.

"So now you're going to leave her?" Murdock said, voice tinged with danger, and he was glad to see Face cringe a little.

"I…" He didn't have an answer, not one where he was going to come out as the good guy anyway. He was going to be leaving her, just like he had left Murdock.

Although, perhaps it wasn't exactly the same.

"It's okay." Murdock finally said quietly after a long moment, crouching down next to Face, meeting his eyes when he slowly looked up, "You were breaking women's hearts long before you met me." He gave him a vague smile that was more sad than anything else. He knew what he was thinking was wrong, and in some ways he was just as bad as Face. But for the possibility that he might get Face back, he found the feelings of one anonymous girl paled in comparison.

"Alright, I'll give you one chance."

That was a week ago. In that time he had spent most of his time still grieving over Hannibal and spoke a lot to Frankie and BA on the phone. It got easier as the days went on, and when Face called him he was ready to face the world again.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Face asked, the uncertainty in his voice. He was obviously worried that Murdock may have changed his mind.

"When?" Face hadn't exactly been specific about the time.

"Late…say, 2200?" The conman said slowly, and Murdock couldn't help a small smile of suspicion.

"That is late." He drew out.

"Can you make it?" Face urged, and something familiar warmed in Murdock's chest. This was all so familiar.

"I suppose so." He finally agreed.

"Great. I'll pick you up." Came the hasty answer, the smile evident in his voice, "See you then." Then the phone went dead, like he had been sneaking the call without anyone knowing. Like it had been in the old days when Face would call up to Murdock's hotel room from the reception to arrange a meeting, even though their actual rooms had been right next to each other.

Murdock had spent the day leading up to their 'date' in some turmoil. He was excited, granted, at the possibility of things going back to how they had been, of life going back to 'normal', but was also feeling guilty. And it was eating away as his conscience. Not only were they going behind the back of Face's fiancée, but he was also cheating on the girl he was supposed to be dating. Sure, they had only been going out for a couple weeks, and only been on a few dates. Nothing was really serious, and it wasn't like they had had plans for that night, but he still felt guilty.

But by the time it was nearly 10, he was more nervous than anything else, and his stomach squirmed unhappily. What if it all went wrong? What if one of them messed it up? He wasn't sure how he would deal with loosing Face all over again. Not after he had foolishly let his hopes get so high.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a car horn beep outside.

He hesitated as he pulled on his coat and saw the silly knitted hat hanging on the hook under it. Was he really any better than Face if he was so willing to leave a perfectly nice girl for someone else?

But seconds later he was out the door. Maybe what he was doing wasn't right for her, but it was right for him, because he knew in his heart that anyone else was always going to be second-best to Face. And he wasn't going to settle for second if he didn't have to.

He could tell Face was doing his best not to look nervous as Murdock walked down the path and opened the door to get into the car. He wondered if it was odd for the blond to be picking him up from the house they used to share.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, before Murdock finally asked, "So why so late?" He pulled on his belt as Face put the car into gear and drove away from the house.

"You'll see." Murdock was glad to hear the faint smirk in Face's voice, the confidence in what he had planned. The top was down on his convertible, and the warm wind tousled their hair. Murdock had forgone wearing a hat with his shirt and smart pants, not sure what Face was going to have planned, but as the wind attacked them, he pulled out his old baseball cap from an inside pocket on his coat and pulled it down over his hair. Face glanced over when he saw the movement, and then laughed when he saw what Murdock had done. It was good to hear him laugh again.

"Do you go anywhere without that thing? It's not even sunny." He asked, still looking amused as Murdock held the hat on his head to stop it getting blown off.

"Of course not. You never know when a hat will be useful." Murdock defended, looking out to the side disinterestedly . He heard Face make an amused noise and then fell quiet.

They travelled in silence, neither of them sure if it was uncomfortable or not, although after a while, Murdock finally started getting curious about where they were going.

"Where are we going? I've never been around here before." He asked, peering around out of the car.

"We're nearly there." Face with smiling to himself, at Murdock couldn't help watching him suspiciously.

Face drove them into a small parking lot that was completely empty, and at the opposite end there was a wall topped with a set of metal railings.

"You brought me to a car park?" Murdock asked dubiously, "You really outdid yourself with this one, didn't you?" He met Face's sarcastic smile with a cheeky grin.

"Come on." Face climbed out of the car and went around to the trunk, getting out a basket nonchalantly. Immediately Murdock got excited like a child.

"We're having a picnic?" He asked, and Face grinned at the pilot's excitement.

"As long as you don't mind a bit of climbing." He started towards the wall, which had to be a good 6 feet high, with another 3 feet of railing on top. He regarded Murdock's confused look with a laugh, "Well the park isn't exactly open at this time, you know?"

It was perfect. A picnic in the park late at night with no one else. Having to essentially break in. It was just perfect. It was exciting and fun and exactly what Murdock what wanted. He could have kissed Face just out of sheer happiness at that point. Happy that Face had remembered how it used to be, and how important the thrill of a date was to the pilot. Murdock knew this wasn't Face's ideal date; the conman liked fancy restaurants with good food, preferably attached to a hotel so they didn't have to go too far for a room. And that was fun too sometimes, but given the choice, Murdock would always choose a picnic over a 5 star meal.

Face held the basket out to Murdock as they reached the wall, and he took it without question, blinking as he watched the blond scale the wall almost without effort.

"You've done this before, Faceman." Murdock grinned, holding up he basket when Face held his hand down for it, before following him up onto the wall, notably with far less grace, and he could hear Face snickering to himself.

"You obviously haven't." He teased, already over the railing, and he quickly jumped down when Murdock looked like he was going to push him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not a criminal like some people." Murdock said haughtily as he stepped over the railing, blinking and hesitating when he saw Face was offering a hand to help him down. The blond apparently didn't immediately realise what he had done, but when he did, the uncertainty crossed his face visibly. But he didn't back down, and instead just lifted his eyebrows in a questioning expression when Murdock paused.

The pilot put his hand in Face's and used it to jump down, trying not to smile, and trying not to let go too quickly.

"Oh yeah, because those helicopters just stole themselves, didn't they?" Face asked, continuing their conversation like nothing had happened, heading into the park and leaving Murdock to follow.

"Hey, that was for the good of the team, I was saving your asses." Murdock defended as he followed.

"Still doesn't mean you're innocent." Face laughed, heading up an incline.

"Yeah…well. I'm crazy…" the pilot murmured audibly.

"You were crazy. You're certifiably sane now, remember?" Face grinned, bumping his shoulder against Murdock.

"Don't remind me!" Murdock complained dramatically, looking put-out, although honestly he couldn't have been happier. Joking, laughing, being silly. It all felt so natural.

Face stopped them at the top of the incline, under the single large tree that grew there. The hill overlooked the small lake in the park, and the near-full moon reflected in the still water, "How's this?" He asked, looking to the pilot, who was distracted looking out at the few.

"It's perfect." Murdock said quietly with a smile, taking a moment to look back at Face before asking brightly, "So what food did you bring?"

"Well help me get it out and you can see." Face grinned, setting the basket down and opening it up, pulling out a thick blanket and offering one end to Murdock so they could lay it out right. They settled on the blanket, not sitting too close, and started emptying out the food, Murdock with notably more enthusiasm than Face.

The conman had brought all of the pilot's favourites, which included a large amount of candy and other junk food, "But you don't even like this!" Murdock looked worried that Face wouldn't have anything to eat, and the blond laughed, shaking his head.

"I like some of it. You always eat more than me anyway." He waved him off, pulling out the rest, and then lastly, and rather oddly, pulling out a small metal bowl.

"What's that?" Murdock asked curiously, leaning forward to watch as Face set the bowl down at the edge of the blanket and filled it from a bottle of water.

"It's a dog bowl." He said, as though it was obvious, and Murdock's eyes went visibly large.

"For Billy?" He asked through a disbelieving laugh. He couldn't believe Face had remembered.

"Of course, he'll feel left out otherwise, right?" Their first date had been a picnic, but it had been far less thought out than this one and had involved spontaneously bought food from a 7/11 and hiding amid bushes in a park at midday. Murdock had insisted that they have food and water for Billy, something Face had vehemently refused to let him do, and had resulted in the pilot ignoring him for two days until the conman apologised.

This time was different. Face was different. And they had 6 years of learning behind them, in which Face had come to realise how important Murdock's eccentricities were to him, and learned to love him for it.

"You better leave some food for him as well." Murdock said slowly, trying not to grin.

"Oh yeah, he'll only bug us otherwise." Face agreed, breaking up a ham sandwich into little, doggy-bite size piece and setting them next to bowl, "Good?" He asked the pilot, looking pleased at the enthusiastic nod he got in return.

"Looks just right."

They ate the food with happy conversation, relaxing more and more as the night drew on. As expected, Murdock was still eating long after Face had finished.

"Where do you put it all?" Face asked with a laugh as he watched Murdock eyeing up a muffin.

"Put what?" The pilot finally picked up the muffin and started pulling off pieces to eat, managing to get crumbs everywhere.

"What you eat." Face fussily started sweeping the crumbs off the blanket onto the grass, "You eat at least twice as me."

"Maybe you don't eat enough." Murdock waved Face's hands away like a child to stop him trying to be so tidy.

"I eat plenty." Face leaned back on his hands, but watched the crumbs accumulate on the blanket woefully.

"That's what you say…" Murdock was watching Face watch the mess thoughtfully. Face always was such a neat-freak, it was one of the things they always argued about. Face just couldn't leave a mess, couldn't stand to be dirty. So one of Murdock's favourite things to do was to get the blond messy, even though he knew more often than not the conman would get mad at him.

But since Face wasn't watching Murdock's hands, it really was his own fault he ended up with a half-eaten blueberry muffin pushed into his face.

"Ah!" He recoiled like Murdock had thrown a spider at him, batting at his face and flinging the muffin halfway down the hill, "Murdock!" By this point, the pilot had already cracked up laughing and shifted a good few feet away just in case the blond decided to get revenge.

"That's not funny!" Face tried to complain, but was obviously fighting laughter, especially since the pilot's mirth was so infectious, "It's not!" He was laughing by now, and threw a cookie at the pilot to try and prove he really was annoyed, when in truth he really wasn't.

"It is. It really really is." Murdock insisted, grinning brightly, trying not to snicker when he saw that Face still had a substantial amount of muffin crumbs stuck to his face, "You know, you've still got a bit…" He pointed to his face, and the blond gave him a sarcastic smile, quickly grabbing a napkin to wipe off the mess, ignoring the pilot's snickering.

"You missed a bit." Murdock pointed out when Face seemed to think he had cleaned up.

"Where?" The blond asked, wiping his face, but missing the crumb that stuck resolutely to his cheek.

"There." Murdock indicated on his own cheek where it was, but Face still missed it, until eventually he just leaned across to wipe it off himself.

They both froze as his hand made contact with Face's cheek, especially since the conman hadn't been expecting it, and they stared at each other for more than a few second. Eventually Murdock broke the silence, still not moving his hand.

"You know…I'm really trying, but I cant think how this could be more of a cliché." He admitted, looking at Face as though expecting to be corrected, until eventually some of the awkwardness disappeared and they both laughed.

"If it, then you must have intended it when you shoved that muffin in my face." Face grinned as Murdock sat back, rubbing at his cheek where the pilot had touched.

"You were the one that made me do it, being all fussy about crumbs." Murdock laughed. Truthfully, however, he was distracted, and it showed in his eyes. For a moment, when they had been frozen, the idea to lean in and kiss the blonde had been almost overwhelming. And he was sure Face must have noticed.

The fact that neither of them were looking at each other now was a dead giveaway.

"This is stupid." Face said after a pregnant pause, drawing Murdock's gaze as he shifted over towards the pilot.

"Wha-?"

"I'm going to kiss you." Face told him, meeting the pilot's eyes as he leaned in. Murdock was frozen, and could think of only one thing to say.

"…okay."

The moment was perfect as their mouths met, and it felt so natural as Murdock leaned into the long fingers that slid into his hair. It was as though for an instant that Face hadn't left him nearly 8 months ago. That he hadn't suffered mentally and physically in his anguish. And that he hadn't moved on. He would have been happy to stay in that moment forever.

But the kiss was only brief, and as the blond slowly pulled back, a small sigh escaped the pilot before he opened his eyes. Their eyes met silently, expressions open before Face smiled, and Murdock could do nothing but return it.

They packed up the picnic soon after that, and Face hid the pieces of sandwich under the blanket before trying to convince Murdock that Billy must have eaten them.

"He cant have." Murdock finally insisted after eyeing Face suspiciously.

"And why is that? Are you saying he doesn't exist?" Face grinned teasingly.

"No." Murdock scoffed, "He cant have eaten the sandwiches, because you gave him ham, and everyone knows you need a drink with a ham sandwich. And he hasn't had any of his water." He explained smugly, and Face could only nod agreement and try not to laugh.

They finished packing up the basket and headed back down towards the wall. They walked shoulder-to-shoulder, and halfway down Murdock slipped his hand into Face's. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the blond look down in surprise, but said nothing as he curled his fingers around the pilot's.

Murdock went over the wall first this time, and Face didn't hesitate in taking the offered hand to help him down off the top, nor did he let go once down and they started towards the car. It was hardly any walk at all across to Face's corvette, but they still drew it out, and as the blond tried to let go and cross over get in, Murdock stopped him, pulling him back by their joined hands.

"Murdock?" Face looked curious but didn't resist. Murdock pulled him in close before leaning in and kissing him firmly. The blond paused in surprise for only a moment, then responded as the pilot wrapped his arms around his waist and held him tight. The kiss was longer and surer this time, tinged with relief and desperation, and Face dropped the picnic basket with a heavy thump so he could wrap his arms up around Murdock's neck.

This time when they drew apart they were both breathless, and stayed in each other's arms, resting their forehead's together.

"I've missed you." Murdock said quietly, eyes still closed, his fingers curling in the shirt over the small of the conman's back.

"I missed you too…" Face murmured, voice relieved, watching the pilot's face as his fingertip slid through the ends of his hair.

They stood there in silence for a long minute until finally Face pulled away, "Come on, let's go." He said quietly as he picked up the basket and headed around to the driver's side. The basket went in the back seat before they both climbed in, Murdock sitting closer than he had on the way there.

The drive went in comfortable silence, Murdock pulled out his hat from his coat again, getting another laugh from Face.

As they got closer to the house, however, the tension started to rise, and the uncertainty was visible on Murdock's face. As they finally pulled up outside, they both sat there in hesitance, neither sure what to say.

"Do you want to come in?" Murdock finally asked, trying to hide the hope in his voice.

Face faltered in his answer, looking past Murdock at the house, before nodding, "Yeah." He said, sounding sure. Murdock nodded to himself and got out, waiting for Face before heading up the path to the door. He could see Face was apprehensive, and he guessed he understood why; this was as much Face's house as it was Murdock's, but the blond hadn't been inside in nearly 8 months.

Murdock opened the door and lead the way in, turning on the light in the hallway. Face followed in slowly, looking around curiously, like he expected everything to be different.

Nothing was.

Everything was almost exactly the same as it had been when he had left. There his coat peg remained empty, just waiting for him to hang his coat back up.

The door closed behind him, and he turned to say something to Murdock, only to find himself bundled into a tight embrace, and he was more than happy to reciprocate. He clung tight to the pilot, burying his face against Murdock's shoulder. He was home again.

"Do you want to never leave again?" Murdock's voice was quiet and a little hoarse, speaking with his nose buried in Face's hair. The blond's voice was watery as he answered, not lifting his head from Murdock's shoulder.

"Okay."

-FIN-


End file.
